- Jo Kelly
Ever catch yourself talking instead of DOING?
Alright guys, this is a sticky one... Very sticky. And we are all guilty of it. Ouch, I am afraid to write this... So one of my clients - I will call him Boogie, of course - had been working with me for a while and yet, he was consistently finding excuses to NOT do the work I was sending him off with. He was “too busy”... But he was very passionate and ambitious, and he really wanted to coach with me. He had big dreams, and that is why he hired me. And yet... he was not doing anything I asked him to do. Could Boogie be a victim of the “talk instead of do” syndrome??? Have you ever felt that same stickiness? I certainly have… During our coaching session, I told Boogie we needed to get into this nastiness so we could clear some space for something more empowering than, “I didn’t do the homework, I can’t, I am too busy.” Boogie was resistant to say the least cuz he knew I was gonna challenge his “busy-ness”… And boy, he was attached to it. Cuz Boogie had things to do: work, kids, family (in sickness and in health), and financial constraints. He was feeling pretty heroic already cuz despite his challenging life, he had hired me -a coach- to raise the bar. In his mind, he was flawless. I asked Boogie to set his resistance on the side for a sec in order to let us move things around for a bit.
The first step was for me to get Boogie to realise that all this “life” that was making him overly busy was no different or worse than anyone else’s life. And so, him being a victim of his life circumstances was probably the way he was seeing the circumstances and not the way they actually were. After all, we all have busy lives nowadays, and yet some of us manage to do MUCH more than others. So, that tells us that there must be other ways, no matter what you are going through. (I know I will make some of you angry with this, but I am game to take this topic further with you in a Facebook LIVE where you will be able to ask me personal questions and even to challenge me as we take this mindset shift all the way. Be sure to join my mailing list here to get all the details.)
Second, Boogie and I spent some time looking at the payoff from being a victim of his busy-ness. That was hard to swallow at first, but Boogie quickly realised that being “too busy” to commit to his art and passion meant he was never taking risks and always being safe. He could not fail, ever. Boogie was hiding behind his circumstances, and as a result Boogie had become a talker. Someone who says they have this dream but they never choose what matters the most to them over what they want right now (cocktails over working out your buttocks at the gym anyone?!)
Understanding this, Boogie was really inspired to find other ways to go about his life in order to create the pockets of free time he needed and wanted to devote to his training. He became responsible for his schedule rather than a victim of it. And that is where ALL THE POWER IS, guys! He realised that his success was really dependent on giving priority to what was most important to him instead of what he wanted most in the moment, and that shift meant making decisions, communicating them with his family and operating change.
Boogie became intentional: he showed up everyday for his dream no matter what. That meant incorporating his training in his daily life and routine, and he felt thrilled and finally empowered and unshakable.
If you are looking for inspiration yourself, here are a couple examples on integrating life and daily acting workout:
Strengthening your instinct as you drive
Improvising in character on the Metro
Doing movement and presence exercises with your kids
Purging your blocks by crying in the shower as no one can hear you
You think this is crazy? Really?! Reaaaaallyyyyy??? Well how is it on set then? Don’t you need to integrate often? How about on your way to an audition? Let me know your tricks on Facebook and... GET PURPOSEFUL, guys! Live every single day working out your instrument towards your goal or else you are only talking about it… Hope to see you during the Facebook LIVE later this week (don't forget to join the list to get notified!), where we will take this discussion further and in training with me soon! Hasta la vista!