- Jo Kelly
#8- Don't act, just BE. "Boogie can't find -the right- choice for her character"
Two weeks ago, one of my online groups’ clients, her name is ….- Boogie-, was confused because though she was happy to have booked a lead role in an independent movie, she felt very unclear about finding "the right" choice for her character.
She was really excited about the project. She felt lucky and she was grateful but she had so much going on in her private life and in her professional life that she just couldn't settle on a direction with her character.
Can you relate? Ever felt like you really wanna work, but there is so much going on that you can’t actually do the work you want to and are supposed to do?
In my coaching practice, wherever my clients are coming from, I do feel that more and more, people are uncentered and unconnected. It’s a general mood.
Presence has become a scarce resource.
We are all so busy trying to do “everything”, that we end up doing nothing.
We are not doing what is essential for us.
Instead of investing our energy in climbing the ladders that helps us stretch and expand we all got great at running on treadmills… And where does that get us?
Boogie and I started coaching and I told her to close her eyes and “land”. I told Boogie to breathe deeply and “say hello”.
“Say hello”?! She asked… WTF??
I replied “ You seem to be everywhere but with yourself Boogie. Since you are your instrument, I am inviting you to start this coaching session by at least acknowledging that : YOU. ARE. HERE. So you can leave all the other things you are currently thinking about, including believing there is a right choice”.
Boogie started to get emotional. She was sad and angry at herself for being so disconnected.
I gave her a moment and told her that now she was connecting. She was angry, sad and that was her truth and she was present to that.
Next thing you know Boogie got really upset. She said she wanted to "figure out" her character and she didn't have time to “do this”.
“Great” I said. “And what is it that we are doing here? You are feeling sad and angry. Does your character ever feel that way?”
“Can you give that to her?” I asked.
She nodded again.
We pursued. Now that Boogie was open for the ride, she could actually relate to her character.
As she started to take on the characters circumstances, we could -step by step- get to a place where she could she could feel what she loved about her, about the story and why she wanted to defend her.
Actually, what Boogie had been resisting was the answer to her questions. I call that recycling or Jazzing. Whatever is present is always without exception exactly what you need to offer your unique perspective and choice (rather than the "right" one which doesn't exist).
Boogie had worked with me for a while and she understood the concept but she hadn't taken it to that extent. She felt empowered and inspired. She felt present and ready to share her humanity and that of her character, unresistant of her vulnerability.
Boogie finished her session radiant.
Such a wonderful thing to look at.
An open human being. Best thing in the world as far as I am concerned;-)
Thank you for reading and if you liked it, I invite you to share this post with like minded artists!
See you next week in the next Blog!