True listening to your scene partner can be really challenging for you as an actor. You may be on set or in an audition and realize that the voice in your head is louder than the one coming from your scene partner.
You might hear an inner voice constantly asking questions like, “Am I doing this right?”, “Should I change something?”, “Will the casting director like my acting?” or “Will this be what they’re looking for?” This can definitely disconnect you from the present moment.
When you watch my training below you will discover that this inner voice (often called your inner critic) usually stems from a need to feel safe or validated. It’s your ego, trying to ensure you’re liked or approved. But when this voice takes over, it prevents you from truly listening. You might think you're listening because you know the lines or have rehearsed, but in reality, you're controlling the outcome of your performance. Whether it's by over-preparing or doing endless takes, none of this leads to real presence.
This can be really frustrating, especially when you’re on a big set or at an important audition because when you truly listen to the other character, you can connect not just with their words, but with the present moment. You are being the character.
So what’s the real issue? From a young age, we were taught not just to listen but to listen for something—approval, safety, or validation. This conditioning prevents us from being fully present. You’re always adjusting to what others expect, instead of truly being in the moment with your scene partner. In acting, this means you're scanning for survival rather than responding authentically.
To really listen, you need to undo this conditioning. It’s about reconnecting with the natural instrument you were born with—being fully alive and present. When you can drop all control, let the other actor’s energy hit you, and allow yourself to respond genuinely, without knowing where it will lead, that's when the truth happens.
If you find yourself stuck over-preparing or overthinking, it’s not about fixing yourself or taking more classes. It’s about clearing out the noise so you can truly be present and listen. That’s when you create real, raw, and alive moments with your scene partner.
Watch my training to hear all my thoughts on this topic.
After you watch the training, I'd love for you to join in the conversation happening in our private Facebook Group THE INSTINCTIVE ACTORS' SOCIETY. You can get answers for your specific situation directly from me and connect with THOUSANDS of like-minded actors across the globe, so we can move things forward faster together.
If you're not already a member, be sure to request to join ASAP here.
See you there!
Jo Kelly
Creator, The Reset Journey From Resistance to Freedom
P.S. Whenever you're ready, here are three ways I can help you:
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